la la la la~ Ebah's world ♥: Oops I dropped my soul in the netherworld: Been a while since I wrote a new post; though I've been updating my cosplay progress post once in a while! My whole life recently has b...
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This....I recently posted on the lost feeling I was and am currently having.... whilst I was checking out the other posts, I found that this post above sounds to me the most right now. Although may not be similar, I feel that I don't think I could have any other better words to describe the state I am in now.
"You are not your art. If your work fails, it doesn't mean you've failed" (Credits: Eva) I think I have grasp this concept now but will need some time to instill it into myself.
But yeah...Love, love, love! Bless this post~
Really like the last part which echos right to the heart even more so right now...Thanks Eva for the insight and the quote, it's inspirational ^^.
It's strange because recently, given the summer break this time now, even though I've just been chilling I constantly feel like I'm running out of time for all the things I committed myself to getting done, one of which was to like to kind of chill lol. I'm not sure if that makes sense ahahaha but yeah, I think I know what I'll need to do now haha. (Organzing much?)
Long time ago, when I was much younger I would be having some fun in editing videos for amvs and at the same time I used to feel like I would be behind in like watching anime/k-dramas on my to-do or watch list (Lol, pretty pathetic? XD). But now it's pretty much the opposite, What to do with myself? Hahaha
Overall, if I could think of the perfect way to sum this up, it would be not only finding the "purpose" but to finding the right balance.
Showing posts with label rambling but with slightly more thought. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rambling but with slightly more thought. Show all posts
Friday, 16 August 2019
Wednesday, 14 August 2019
An update of Summer 2019
Heyy guys it's been quite a long time since I actually did post a blog post on the spot haha 😅.
I swear I'm not that great when it comes to blogging or doing some of the things on time and so I apologise for not keeping up to write up a blog, as it was one of my New Years resolutions now that I am looking back at it. 👉👈
Lately I have been feeling a little bit lost so heads up, this post seems to underlay some of the sad tones and thoughts haha. 💭
It's coming up to nearly an end of Summer 2019 I feel, and with my eyes still not getting better as I've been suddenly contracting some sort of infection with what seems like to be bacterial conjuctivitis (Will post about this hopefully soon), I just want to say despite being on a holiday mode from Uni and all from like the past 3-4 months (coming up to 3), some things was and is still quite a roller coaster in terms of the emotions. Don't get me wrong I actually enjoy do my summer life right now this year equally as I would be abroad; This year I didn't go anywhere special or abroad so I lived my life like a NEET you could say this time haha. Although I have wrote of what seem like 4 months of break (Mid May-June-July-August), I actually spent couple of weeks out of the from around the second week of June to revise as our student results was released to which I found out I had to retake two exams. One of the exam was dispensing which was a critical that didn't come out much of a shock as we were told in separate emails quite in advance, the exam result on the other hand despite being dispatch that day wasn't that much of a shock either as I had a feeling that I didn't do that well. That time I felt that if I don't pass that even if I do pass the other one, I would still have to stay back a year. Regardless of my hard work it wouldn't be recognised. Either way, I felt pretty bummed out that time. Nevertheless, I still did try to revise as I didn't want to feel regret altogether or add another burden to the workload if need be.
Come the re-sit results day that came out around the 19th of July, my institution was right as I found out that I passed the dispensing...Hooray! Thank. the. Lord! But I ended up still didn't passing the other exam which was the Pharmaceutical of Chemistry and Analysis (PCA) and for that I knew exactly the reason. Again I don't want to sound more negative than it is already is nor push the blame, but my relatives came over- What's even more my niece came over to sleep over that time, breaking one of my precious limited edition toys (This I swear. Never again.) I silently scream in agony as I didn't see any way to fix her in that moment of time. Regardless of what had happened, I have now been pulled back to stay for another year. I can't help but to feel quite worthless but most of all back to being really lost just like I did back at A-levels...
I tried to plead and sought for help about a week later with two of the module leaders but neither of them to have any care of the world, saying it was non-negotiable.
Back to now on the 14/08/19, can't help but to feel even more helpless and lost. As day go by from now, I feel anxious as to what the future has in store for me. Should I really carry on to study this course, Pharmacy? Should I switch? Or should I just stopped education altogether haha. I really don't know.... *Sigh* Pondering.....
I guess On the bright side of things, I finally got myself a part-time job now and it's pretty close to my home as well ^^. And for that part, I am grateful. Kamsahamnida 💟
I swear I'm not that great when it comes to blogging or doing some of the things on time and so I apologise for not keeping up to write up a blog, as it was one of my New Years resolutions now that I am looking back at it. 👉👈
Lately I have been feeling a little bit lost so heads up, this post seems to underlay some of the sad tones and thoughts haha. 💭
It's coming up to nearly an end of Summer 2019 I feel, and with my eyes still not getting better as I've been suddenly contracting some sort of infection with what seems like to be bacterial conjuctivitis (Will post about this hopefully soon), I just want to say despite being on a holiday mode from Uni and all from like the past 3-4 months (coming up to 3), some things was and is still quite a roller coaster in terms of the emotions. Don't get me wrong I actually enjoy do my summer life right now this year equally as I would be abroad; This year I didn't go anywhere special or abroad so I lived my life like a NEET you could say this time haha. Although I have wrote of what seem like 4 months of break (Mid May-June-July-August), I actually spent couple of weeks out of the from around the second week of June to revise as our student results was released to which I found out I had to retake two exams. One of the exam was dispensing which was a critical that didn't come out much of a shock as we were told in separate emails quite in advance, the exam result on the other hand despite being dispatch that day wasn't that much of a shock either as I had a feeling that I didn't do that well. That time I felt that if I don't pass that even if I do pass the other one, I would still have to stay back a year. Regardless of my hard work it wouldn't be recognised. Either way, I felt pretty bummed out that time. Nevertheless, I still did try to revise as I didn't want to feel regret altogether or add another burden to the workload if need be.
Come the re-sit results day that came out around the 19th of July, my institution was right as I found out that I passed the dispensing...Hooray! Thank. the. Lord! But I ended up still didn't passing the other exam which was the Pharmaceutical of Chemistry and Analysis (PCA) and for that I knew exactly the reason. Again I don't want to sound more negative than it is already is nor push the blame, but my relatives came over- What's even more my niece came over to sleep over that time, breaking one of my precious limited edition toys (This I swear. Never again.) I silently scream in agony as I didn't see any way to fix her in that moment of time. Regardless of what had happened, I have now been pulled back to stay for another year. I can't help but to feel quite worthless but most of all back to being really lost just like I did back at A-levels...
I tried to plead and sought for help about a week later with two of the module leaders but neither of them to have any care of the world, saying it was non-negotiable.
Back to now on the 14/08/19, can't help but to feel even more helpless and lost. As day go by from now, I feel anxious as to what the future has in store for me. Should I really carry on to study this course, Pharmacy? Should I switch? Or should I just stopped education altogether haha. I really don't know.... *Sigh* Pondering.....
I guess On the bright side of things, I finally got myself a part-time job now and it's pretty close to my home as well ^^. And for that part, I am grateful. Kamsahamnida 💟
Wednesday, 15 May 2019
Exams over (for the time being) with One week till BlackPink Comes down to London!
Hawoo hawoo hello, its been a while. Honestly, what can I say. TAT
I literally cannot remember how April went apart from this car accident that happened on the 2nd (Omo \oAo/). (Again I shall quickly write an entry on that).
This academic year has been nothing but a whole loada stress. I know I said it many times but honestly I cannot emphasise this strongly. It can be officially said, this is a joke now. Whilst Exams for 2nd year for Pharmacy are officially over.....I can't help but have this mixed feeling on me (more will be said down below).
Really didn't want this to happen but y'know it just happens....
Basically Whilst revising for my final last exam (which was yesterday), the result for one of the module comes in, it happened to be right after my 2nd exam (that module), I can't help but to have a quick peak at my results only to falter at the sore sight of having to retake one of the test. It was the critical elements which means you need to pass these all in order to move onto the next stage (the 3rd year). There were 3 that you must pass (thank the lord) and suprisingly I passed the other 2, one being the exempt lab (I thought I fail that) which I mentioned before in my previous entry I believe. At first, I didn't cry but then after a good few hours later along with my mum seeing this result (I don't know how that ended up to be), I gave in and broke down like mad- it hit me like a ton of bricks. Honestly the past few days was so bad, to the point that having to revise for that exam in particular was so. damn. hard. Apart from receiving my a-levels results, I don't think I have ever felt that strongly demotivated. Not to mention that module wasn't particularly any interesting in the beginning and also quite hard on top of that.
It was dispensing that I failed. I was really upset given that I have tried my very best, the ultimate you could say for it...yet to know that you have once again fail and that what's even worse is that you're the only one in your small group chat to have fail. It was heart wrenching. I was completely shattered.
I really want to give up, pondering whether is there any point to carry on with this course anymore and to ditch & forget that last exam in that moment in time but I know I just can't do that.....
Having come that far, I know I have to try...at least cry trying then die, then try or else that regret for not revising much could be worse, not that afterwards or me typing this up was any better but at least I did what I was suppose to be doing.
Anyhow, there's goes the sum of my life since April, sorry for this dull post. I don't want to do this but a few days back then, it really did sullen the mood... now it's just the wait for Blackpink which at first I was really looking forward but now it's not much exciting as I imagine it out be, now that I know that I have to resit for dispensing in the baggage (for the 3rd time T_T) *sigh* oh and also for the rest of the results too....
Ok, right....Enough!!! Cheer up~ 💟 It is a crime to be sad on the first day of the holiday hahaha.
Oh right! My mum was so kind to have brought some sort of lucky charm (Turns out she ask the sender if this could be sent over by 1st class since luckily the postage was included so the getting it by 1st class wasn't much of a biggie). My heart melt right there 😭.
Here's the picture of the lucky charm that was just before the final exam hahaha. It's a picture of the rat (my chinese zodiac sign) if can't tell? I mean I don't blame you, at first I couldn't but then after having a good week or two now, I can see finally make shape of it lol. Really fortunate and blessed overall. 🙏
Oh right! My mum was so kind to have brought some sort of lucky charm (Turns out she ask the sender if this could be sent over by 1st class since luckily the postage was included so the getting it by 1st class wasn't much of a biggie). My heart melt right there 😭.
Here's the picture of the lucky charm that was just before the final exam hahaha. It's a picture of the rat (my chinese zodiac sign) if can't tell? I mean I don't blame you, at first I couldn't but then after having a good week or two now, I can see finally make shape of it lol. Really fortunate and blessed overall. 🙏
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| A much closer view |
Sunday, 3 February 2019
February Update! + Pondering to change name of blog?
Hey hey,
A February update for once?! 😝 Now that's a first in nearly a decade!
Can you believe it 1 month already gone into 2019 and now it's February!....January is now gone in an instant like ↪ BAM!
Wouldn't say I'm glad January is over as there's more to come but I just want to say now, as bad as this may sound, I'm feeling thankful for the lessons of sadness/ anguish that has taught me especially for the past months or so. I don't think I have ever felt that these sort feeling before? Luckily they are slowly going down especially since Aunt Flo has just come to visit (I think this has probe the button hahaha) Um-hum.
So for that, I'm now feeling much better which in turn made me motivated by doing some revision (I know I know, This sounds lame towards the end but at least I feel like I'm on starting point? XDD)
To surprise things even more (and on the topic of a starting point), a food for thought!
I would like to announce that I'm thinking of changing this name of the blog. I feel that it's been a long time that I haven't been using this blog and that now, since I would like to try to keep it into a habit of running it from time to time, a new change and better fresh start would be nice (Since I think I did have quite a few alias 😅- I want to keep things quite consistent from now on😅 - I don't know how I end up with a few, but I can assure you it's only like what...2/3 names?! Despite of what may seem to be small number, I still would definitely want to try and clear things up hopefully by summer, I was hoping until Chinese New year / Lunar New year...But it's not possible at the moment.) !
Until then, It's unofficial- Watch this space! Hehe.
A February update for once?! 😝 Now that's a first in nearly a decade!
Can you believe it 1 month already gone into 2019 and now it's February!....January is now gone in an instant like ↪ BAM!
Wouldn't say I'm glad January is over as there's more to come but I just want to say now, as bad as this may sound, I'm feeling thankful for the lessons of sadness/ anguish that has taught me especially for the past months or so. I don't think I have ever felt that these sort feeling before? Luckily they are slowly going down especially since Aunt Flo has just come to visit (I think this has probe the button hahaha) Um-hum.
So for that, I'm now feeling much better which in turn made me motivated by doing some revision (I know I know, This sounds lame towards the end but at least I feel like I'm on starting point? XDD)
To surprise things even more (and on the topic of a starting point), a food for thought!
I would like to announce that I'm thinking of changing this name of the blog. I feel that it's been a long time that I haven't been using this blog and that now, since I would like to try to keep it into a habit of running it from time to time, a new change and better fresh start would be nice (Since I think I did have quite a few alias 😅- I want to keep things quite consistent from now on😅 - I don't know how I end up with a few, but I can assure you it's only like what...2/3 names?! Despite of what may seem to be small number, I still would definitely want to try and clear things up hopefully by summer, I was hoping until Chinese New year / Lunar New year...But it's not possible at the moment.) !
Until then, It's unofficial- Watch this space! Hehe.
Friday, 6 March 2009
All about................
Hey!
Sorry for not upadating that much to the site.
Have I ever told u that good things comes round when you do good things and when you do bad things, bad things comes round.
Anyway here where I am going to tell you 2 stories.........................
My mum was in the bus stop, She saw an old man was in front of her and suddenly a piece of money dropped in front of her. She was surprise to see the money dropped but in the end she decided she would pick the money up for the old man. Anyway, later on in the day, When she was shopping, A lady suddenly callled my mum that she had accidently dropped a money, she was shcoked but took the money.
The second story that I'm going to tell you is about how thing you lost, will come back to you eventually.
On Wednesday 11th of March about 7:30 ish, Me and my cousin were in the room sorting out her luggage, the suddenly my cousin was like
" Hey, Adeline ( that's my name), did u lend me the mp3 last time?"
and I replied, " Er....I don't think so, But did it get there?"
She replied to me, " Yeah, how did it get there? anyway here you go!"
I was sooo happy that I want to cry!
" Oh my god! I've been finding this for like....3 month....What a relieve! I thought I lost it or it was stolen o-or........" ( To be honest, I actually hid the mp3 so that my mum won't figure out that I was listening to it, so I ended up putting it somewhere and eventually forgetten it)
Hehehe! That was cheeky of me! :P
Sorry for not upadating that much to the site.
Have I ever told u that good things comes round when you do good things and when you do bad things, bad things comes round.
Anyway here where I am going to tell you 2 stories.........................
My mum was in the bus stop, She saw an old man was in front of her and suddenly a piece of money dropped in front of her. She was surprise to see the money dropped but in the end she decided she would pick the money up for the old man. Anyway, later on in the day, When she was shopping, A lady suddenly callled my mum that she had accidently dropped a money, she was shcoked but took the money.
The second story that I'm going to tell you is about how thing you lost, will come back to you eventually.
On Wednesday 11th of March about 7:30 ish, Me and my cousin were in the room sorting out her luggage, the suddenly my cousin was like
" Hey, Adeline ( that's my name), did u lend me the mp3 last time?"
and I replied, " Er....I don't think so, But did it get there?"
She replied to me, " Yeah, how did it get there? anyway here you go!"
I was sooo happy that I want to cry!
" Oh my god! I've been finding this for like....3 month....What a relieve! I thought I lost it or it was stolen o-or........" ( To be honest, I actually hid the mp3 so that my mum won't figure out that I was listening to it, so I ended up putting it somewhere and eventually forgetten it)
Hehehe! That was cheeky of me! :P
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