Heyy guys it's been quite a long time since I actually did post a blog post on the spot haha 😅.
I swear I'm not that great when it comes to blogging or doing some of the things on time and so I apologise for not keeping up to write up a blog, as it was one of my New Years resolutions now that I am looking back at it. 👉👈
Lately I have been feeling a little bit lost so heads up, this post seems to underlay some of the sad tones and thoughts haha. 💭
It's coming up to nearly an end of Summer 2019 I feel, and with my eyes still not getting better as I've been suddenly contracting some sort of infection with what seems like to be bacterial conjuctivitis (Will post about this hopefully soon), I just want to say despite being on a holiday mode from Uni and all from like the past 3-4 months (coming up to 3), some things was and is still quite a roller coaster in terms of the emotions. Don't get me wrong I actually enjoy do my summer life right now this year equally as I would be abroad; This year I didn't go anywhere special or abroad so I lived my life like a NEET you could say this time haha. Although I have wrote of what seem like 4 months of break (Mid May-June-July-August), I actually spent couple of weeks out of the from around the second week of June to revise as our student results was released to which I found out I had to retake two exams. One of the exam was dispensing which was a critical that didn't come out much of a shock as we were told in separate emails quite in advance, the exam result on the other hand despite being dispatch that day wasn't that much of a shock either as I had a feeling that I didn't do that well. That time I felt that if I don't pass that even if I do pass the other one, I would still have to stay back a year. Regardless of my hard work it wouldn't be recognised. Either way, I felt pretty bummed out that time. Nevertheless, I still did try to revise as I didn't want to feel regret altogether or add another burden to the workload if need be.
Come the re-sit results day that came out around the 19th of July, my institution was right as I found out that I passed the dispensing...Hooray! Thank. the. Lord! But I ended up still didn't passing the other exam which was the Pharmaceutical of Chemistry and Analysis (PCA) and for that I knew exactly the reason. Again I don't want to sound more negative than it is already is nor push the blame, but my relatives came over- What's even more my niece came over to sleep over that time, breaking one of my precious limited edition toys (This I swear. Never again.) I silently scream in agony as I didn't see any way to fix her in that moment of time. Regardless of what had happened, I have now been pulled back to stay for another year. I can't help but to feel quite worthless but most of all back to being really lost just like I did back at A-levels...
I tried to plead and sought for help about a week later with two of the module leaders but neither of them to have any care of the world, saying it was non-negotiable.
Back to now on the 14/08/19, can't help but to feel even more helpless and lost. As day go by from now, I feel anxious as to what the future has in store for me. Should I really carry on to study this course, Pharmacy? Should I switch? Or should I just stopped education altogether haha. I really don't know.... *Sigh* Pondering.....
I guess On the bright side of things, I finally got myself a part-time job now and it's pretty close to my home as well ^^. And for that part, I am grateful. Kamsahamnida 💟
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