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 Haven't been giving an update post throughout this journey of the blog so here I am, taking this step to do one.... except it's a more a depressive one rather than the perhaps usual 'cherry' post

I honestly don't even know where to begin, because this big part of my heart where the issue lies is actually a long term problem. I have been trying so hard not to let it get to me, so hard to communicate this out but honestly I am just fed up and it is really sad I have to put this out here in my blog in which the internet may see; I have been contemplating a lot and a lot more recently- it's got to a point there is no return. Lately and literally last night I have been feeling super down in the slump that I end up sleeping at 5am. Perhaps I am currently in my shark week but that does not normally lead me to having meltdowns I swear! I am person who is normally calm even during this period but this post says otherwise that I am about to make, which also bothers me as I feel like an outright monster but just know that I have no choice but to simply express myself here and so without further ado, I shall now delve straight right into it... 

As some may or may not know, I am currently 24 in writing this, about to turn 25 in say 3 months (omg). I live with my parents and although I know I am old enough to move out, I am not financially stable nor am I emotionally prepare due to studies (4th year MPharm) and part time jobs. But in no way am I by all means saying that I have an excuse, I will at some point move out but just want to vent it all out here. 

Basically when I am away or when whilst I'm at work (bnot at home in other words), my mum will go through my room without ever getting permission from me and tidy and reorganise my bedroom, and by reorganise I mean she'll go so far as to go through my drawers and move things around, throw things away etc. Like she opens all my drawers, rearranges stuff, opens my mail (I’m over 21). She leaves things in different places or she will put a pair of socks in my electronics drawer, almost like a message that she was there. It’s like she wants me to know she was going through my stuff. I got a lock box that I keep under my bed but I’m sick of her STILL snooping through my personal stuff.

This upsets me to the point where I have had several meltdowns (all in private), usually hours after the fact once the gravity of what she has done dawns on me. I very rarely have meltdowns, in fact all of the meltdowns I've had over the past year have been at least in part due to her reorganising my room without my permission, so it is a big deal. The main reason it upsets me is that not being able to find my things is very distressing to me. To her, my room probably looks disorganised and messy. And yeah, I will admit it is quite messy, I struggle to keep it tidy at the moment and it's something I want to work on. But what I don't think she realises is that despite the apparent mess everything in my room has its place, and I know exactly where everything is, which is something I find comforting so having it all moved around is really hard to cope with. I also really value my privacy, and the thought of her potentially going through my stuff is very upsetting. So last week her computer broke down and she use my old laptop.

My room is my sanctuary and where I escape to recharge after long hours of masking at work, so having it be tampered with puts me on edge and prevents me from being able to relax.

As with any problem, in order to solve is to communicate, right? I tried to talk and confront my mum about it but really it is no use because all she would say is " This is her house and that she can do whatever she wants" Additionally it would also result her in being emotionally abusive and accusing me of being a bad daughter, irresponsible, and hurling insults at me like "no man will ever want to marry you" "You deserve what you get, when you get your results really badly from exam etc" or "Cry when I am going to die or when your father dies" She really does not care, and I really tired of her fucking shit. I am now not talking to her and refusing to take in any of her food as talking to her won't help. I am feeling really tired from having to keep talking about this. I just want someone to relate and can say my feelings are valid because is it so much to ask for space? I understand I'm living under her roof but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect some privacy?  I really want my feelings to be known but honestly letting my mum know nicely won't help. Tell me I am not crazy!!! T______________________T

My mother is going to far with her barging into my room. : Advice (reddit.com)

My mom has no respect for my things and thinks I am 10 still!!! Anyone else dealing with the same stuff?? : raisedbynarcissists (reddit.com)

How to ask my mum to stop doing something that triggers meltdowns : aspergirls (reddit.com)

My mom keeps moving my stuff when I leave my room : Advice (reddit.com)

Visiting my hoarder Mom, how to prepare myself mentally? : declutter (reddit.com)

My mother just tidied up my room - The Student Room

Mom keeps ruining my room (rareddit.com)

I’ve never seen this feeling put into words. : aspergirls (reddit.com)

Another Scandolous scam! + Boiler fixed!! [Busy Busy week despite Friday off! Woohoo!]

Wooohoooo, and another busy week it has been! Bustling our way for what there is to come.

Despite Friday given as a day off (woohoo!- I was so flipping glad!), I still find myself pretty stressed- literally had a mental breakdown today ahaha. I think it was due to the fact I kind of abused the fact that I actually had a day off from uni on Friday. I literally slept quite a lot here and there that day (I honestly dunno why), even though I tell myself I would get up early (as usual) and wanted to revise as much as possible on the day with a good break (watching anime?) in between but ended up doing the opposite instead 😅😖 (Grrr).
Anyways, things happen happened sadly, and from now on try to really prioritise on what to do and then, cram in as much as possible in this space of time.

Ok, so lots of thing have happened beside studying of course... First My cousin and her friend came to pay us a visit ^^. However sadly, another scam has happen.
And so another tale beings....

My cousin and her friend was walking out on the street coming close to our home on our street pathway at around 10pm, when suddenly they were accosted by a man claiming to be a lost Italian tourist needing some directions. He asked them where they are from and whether or not, if they live around here. After learning that they are not from the UK and that they are here visit our house, he left them alone when this time two guys all of a sudden walk up to them claiming to be some sort of British police officers. They swiftly flash the torchlight and at the same time show their I.D card with their face on it, indicating to my cousin and her friend that they are legit. They then demanded to see their belongings, insinuating that they could be involved in drug trafficking with the lost Italian tourist due to our area potentially having drug dealers. Of course, they didn't have a choice- how was they suppose to know what a real warrant card look like? 

They search the Italian tourist first, then proceed to search my cousin and her friend- they had their luggage on them. The so-called 'police officers' then claim in addition to the potential drug dealing in our area, that there has also been some cases of money laundering. Therefore with this statement, they too reached out to take my cousin's friend money envelope out of her fanny pack and started to count the money, as well as counting their belongings in the luggage at the same time. This all happen really quickly with the 'police officers' loudly claiming back afterwards that there is nothing wrong and so releasing them. The 'police officers' then show them with their hands in action that they have put the belongings back into the luggage including the money. 

It was not until when they arrived at our house that they told us of this case, and that we exclaim to them that there shouldn't be such thing in terms wanting to search the money. So that is when they quickly went back to search their belonging, did they realised had been scammed but most of all robbed. After all this have happened, we strongly urge my cousin and took her to visit the nearest police station.

I am so mad that this has happen! Honestly, what has happen to us this year 😅 that we deserve to receive this 😫😂 (Biggest effector was my mum and my cousin- really what a start of a year to them!)

Also did I tell you this- our boiler is finally fixed 🙌 after a month or two of just the boiler going bipolar on us- With hot water the next, then cold water afterwards! This happen back in the middle of January? A complete shambles this has been, We had to use whatever resources had such as getting a huge saucepan to boil the water along with the kettle, we then use that to mixed the waters and help us shower.
Apparently our boiler was like over 40 years old, which brings us to have no choice but to ultimately having to spend like £1000 to get it fixed once and for all. Anyhow, I'm not complaining for I am glad it is now fixed ^^

Work it, Twerk it! (Don't know what to call this now...) and a (Scandalous) Internet Scam!

Wow, So much has happen like.... 💥
First of all may I just say that:

1. January- It was horrible. I can't believe it was long. This is the first time I have despise this month, despite it given to be my birthday month lol. 😅 I don't know, my emotions were really on a rollercoaster I feel....

2. February- That went super fast 😮- it's crazy how I can feel how short it really was

3. March- And now it's 3rd month into 2019. Woah.

There's a meme on those 3 points above to which made me agree on this strongly, if this wasn't put out... I don't think I would put this here?

Anyways, I honestly I can't remember the last time I felt so burnt out. That is just how bad it is.... to the point that I feel numb?!?!
I thought A-levels were bad enough but I guess I was wrong.... 😓😭😭😅😂 Even GCSEs before A-levels, Geezzz! Can't believe I thought all that was like..... hard?! (What a joke this has become?! 😅😂😂)

and now back to the reality!...Assignment after assignment, then really... a small exam after an assignment?!! (which we called it Progress Test as so to speak) that counts to one of our module marks overall- Had to cram that all of these in like 3 days?!!- then now we got the clinical simulations to focus on as it's this coming Tuesday as well as the presentation (This also counts!) which is the week after, along with the Extemporaneous (Exempt) lab (Making of medical products) 😭- Oh my flipping Goddd!!

Like don't get me wrong! I know I shouldn't complain as almost everyone I know are pretty much in a similar boat or probably had it worse? But I just can't help but would like to express my feelings and thoughts here? As well as I understand the importance and the stress that comes with this particular course, since it is the price to pay afterall 😒 ahaha 😅 But I honestly think that this could be little bit more organised especially coming towards the end of the academic year as well as some of the things that really aren't that important as it sounds, like the dispensing test and especially the exempt lab, I feel they shouldn't really be like a critical PASS or FAIL tasks. There's just so much to ask for 2nd year especially this month in my opinion 😔

As mentioned before, I had the progress test after the assignment which was kindly extended to a Monday Midday instead due my uni renovating the online system, so I guess we were lucky in the sense where can make the assignment to the 'best' quality, but then we would have the test on Friday morning (08/03/19), wtf ?! it looks like I have Monday (Day 1) to Thursday (Day 4), 4 days to revise all the content even to quite latest lecture we've been taught last week in total but in reality I had 2-3 days to revise instead, as Tuesday was the exempt lab to prepare for- Luckily that was still a formative! but still it's a shambles...really 😔 *Sigh*

On top of that! OMG, I don't know if I mentioned this here before....I doubt I have did so here it goes....Long story short, our internet connection was down for like a week or 2 with the signal coming back on but it was still fluctuating back at home. So, then some fucking sick bastards decides to take advantage of this situation by calling my mum (Poor her, honestly she always seem to encounter these sort of bad people...) to get her into getting the computer system- These bloody fraudsters😡😡. This all happened after the test on the Friday, that I decide to give a call to my mum to see what is the situation was with the WiFi, as we call our provider to send a new router on Wednesday/Thursday to which it had arrive on a Friday. My mum then filled me in on she got a call from our provider on how our system seem to be hacked. This was NOT the case. I found this all out later that evening- sending me chills to the bone. I tend to reflect on things that has happen... so much to the point that even now as I write this up, that I can't believe I would also get trap in this sort of thing, making me gullible (At first I thought it was genuine but then I would think it is not.... I don't know if this makes sense but yeah...). I swear these people will pay for their sins.
I would write up lot about this...but it requires some screenshot to include here which I feel and think is better to justify and understand the whole picture. Right now, there's just so much to write about and be informed. Instead, I have put some links on here which was very similar to what happened to us. Sadly this obviously was not the first case to have happened in the world....

Link 1: https://www.webologist.co.uk/internet-security/windows-security-and-the-w3c-validators-telephone-scam 
Link 2: http://www.salisbury-computer-repairs.co.uk/computer-repair-scams.html 

By me writing this here, not only would it help myself I feel.... but for everyone as I hope that it would bring some more awareness of this sort of situation. Though I doubt anyone would be reading this? Ahaha...If anyone manages to read this, congratulations! 😅😂😂

Ok, so onto my Cousin's (Victor) Play !! Which was on very next day, Saturday! Woooop, The weekend has finally arrived~

Friendship

Welcome

hi!

thanks for coming to my site again, well... to tell you the truth usually no one have been to my site... so i just forget it usually, i usually come to see my site and just reading my blog. erm.... dream lady can i have yr site? ( thanks 4 coming to my site).

finally... i found it!

hi guys,

i always wonder how to publish and create this now i found out! ( which is great ). i swear i've been looking 4 this. just to create a blog. hpm! and now i so glad.As u know there r lots of section that r confusing me and so compilacted.