Unprecedented times- Coronavirus- March/April
As per the usual I would either place down here some happy thoughts or my grumbly rants but today, the tone shall be quite different as shall delve onto matter. So with that being said, I am more scared to come off as whiny or as if I am not better off than billions of people right now... However I decided in order to especially remember these moments I should at least document my experience in this global pandemic here to look back on.
Apart from studies, I was really fortunate enough to not go through strenuous hardships therefore I cannot deny that I am in a position of privilege because I don't need to worry about the roof over my head, or my source of income (working at two essential businesses / services one of which is at a small Korean grocery store so thankfully not been furloughed), or taking public transportation where my dad (furloughed as working in a restaurant) help out by driving me to work in the pharmacy, or even the likelihood of death in my immediate circles which honestly cannot be forever more thankful for not being put in heart-wrenching position...
It is also worth mentioning that not too long ago since going into lockdown, 23rd of March, my uni has closed the following days afterwords, as well as altogether emplacing the decision to replace final exam(s) with coursework(s) which thanking the lord, was starting to think it was absurd to just carry on. Being a commuter, had to frequently sought travel via train which became the norm as my uni is located slightly out of London and so because of this, has evidently led to having the high amount of cases at the time unfortunately.
Back to this post where it already having 3 weeks into the lockdown, more and more things have cancelled/postponed- All Theatres and if not all McDs as well- don't quote me for this- are temporarily closed. Along with grocery stores that are also already starting to make their call for social distancing (Queues outside of the shop with 2 meters away from each other).
I can't help but feel slightly anxious as like with many other European countries, UK even though it's a highly economic developed country, can be....rather slow (as if I am the one to talk haha!) such as mask wearing *diverting eyes*
Not that this issue is light hearted to begin with... don't think this is the right word but that will have to do for a word handle...
And never intended to dismiss it as one but I'm going to try to keep this tone of post as quite neutral as possible. Not going to lie as somewhere deep in my heart feels a tinge of rage but most of all sadness
I suppose I'm a bit of a pessimist as I start to think that I might already be a carrier — felt a sore throat creepily coming up my way! Even though the sore throat was not part of the official symptoms nor guidelines, part of me can't help but to feel quite concerned. To think there could be a possibility and to see if there were any precautions was always somewhere at the back of my mind. And so, despite having no symptoms—and neither do my coworkers or parents— there weren't any readily available tests here yet so there were really just no way to know!
Despite the level of anxiousness, on a personal level, I'm not seriously overworried as theoretically should I fall ill I should recover, but it is the fear for my parents instead as I do live with them whom I don't want to get sick. T___T Hence for the past weeks, it is sorry to say with slight regret that I strayed away from not getting into much contacts/ interaction specially with community patients in the pharmacy and colleague. I didn't dare to mix or mingle with anyone in fears of contracting the illness as mentioned above. Felt pretty selfish?
To make matters slightly worse there was a text message from the pharmacy work group chat, that one of the colleague's uncle had contracted COVID-19, creating a slight paranoia within me furthermore hearing my boss mentioned to just keep washing the hands wasn't giving any help or reassurance. Hence the righteous in me felt that despite all of the shaming there is around non-sick ppl wearing a mask in the media, that I'm just going to wear one to protect oneself as well as to limit any spreading to others if any ;;;;;)
Above all, there has been routine hand washing and constantly keeping on an edge as I tried not to leave my germs around the house too much-- thankfully my mum's being a neat and worry wart impose the idea to spray us by leaving the dettol anti-bacterial and anti-viral near the doorstop before we enter the household after coming back from the outside world lol. I really wouldn't know what to do and I don't know what if I was in any position or good hands by being capable of nursing my parents and younger brother...
Such thoughts really gave me a mixed feeling of anxiousness yet at the same time makes me really proud to know healthcare providers are what the world have ultimately turn to when in dire need.
Anyhow luckily (being the introverted me) that it wasn't hard for me to stay put indoors though I must say right now I could really feel there is a huge pressure to not freely buy things, let alone the extroverted people. The compromised decision to just to stay at home whenever possible is quite tough I gotta admit. Additionally to cut back on non-essential delivery (i.e. eBay and Amazon) was something I decided to avoid as I REALLY didn't want find trouble in case there were any missed delivery/ or lack of customer service such as refund. Most of all, I honestly didn't want to burden or abuse the power that could potentially help vulnerable people thus could saving lives.
To anyone out there reading this post, I hope you and your loved ones stay well and safe. I understand that it is hard but it is during this time that much cooperation and spirits support is needed. Let us stay strong ❤️ and pray we'll get through this!
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